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My frank thoughts for this week’s column, “Machel’s Ranch.” Rancho Santa Fe News.

  • Posted on July 17, 2010 at 9:31 am

I don’t have anything to write this week. It’s a first. I am sitting here staring at a blank page with nothing materializing. That’s rare when that happens. Usually, I’m brimming with ideas, stories that my heart seems it must reveal in my next column. This week? Nothing is coming to me, except just to be honest with my readers.

I was thinking about a few things while I was relaxing on a two-week vacation. Some ideas that seemed rather important to share, or rather lessons I am still learning myself.

I’ve been thinking that there are many signs in this world. I don’t think most us pay attention to the immediate ones, and we miss obvious moments that are ours to create. I’m not talking about road signs. I’m talking about signs from up above that validate our journey, or rather give us direction when we need it.

Another thing I’ve been thinking about is have you ever noticed the more favors you give the more others expect from you in return? What is up with that? I am learning to be more sparing with my favors. I have learned to say “No.” If you can’t be there, just say no and don’t overextend yourself. I’m sure your calendar is already full. Take this advice from someone who usually commits herself with too many stories. Choose sparingly. Don’t become overwhelmed with a schedule when life is really meant to be simplified (do think Forrest Gump here).

Drink tea instead of espresso.

I’ve also been thinking how much I just absolutely love life, and how blessed I am to be here with all of my friends and loved ones. I just have been so grateful lately for what I have instead of hoping for more. Guess what? I find there is less to complain about. We sometimes miss out on great moments because we are busy wanting more. “Be grateful for less and you won’t miss the rest.” I just coined that phrase even if it sounded a bit cliché.

The main thing is, take some time out of your life to watch “Seinfeld.” Yes, that’s right. Or your favorite comedy that just makes you belt out a really deep laugh. I hear that sort of laughter fights off cancer. I hear it heals just about everything. So make sure you take some time to laugh.

Loosen up a bit and stop taking everything so seriously. The world will survive if you do happen to make a mistake. Everything is not resting upon your shoulders. Be at one place at a time. Dare to inspect the beauty in a single blade of grass while you are in a rush to your next appointment.

Stop spending so much time on your cell phone. Learn to be with yourself alone and your idle thoughts in the car instead. Then listen to some amazing music that inspires your mood. We don’t always have to be hooked to our iPhone. Have the courage to be without the latest gadget.

And, I shall end with this: Don’t make yourself too available. Don’t always say yes. Learn to be quiet. Learn to smile. Learn to be nice. Learn to say the words, “I love you more,” and don’t forget to tell your parents they are the greatest in the world. After all, they did give you life. It’s nice to be back under the eucalyptus trees. I missed you, Rancho Santa Fe.

Out of town

(Please note, for the last two weeks I have been gone from Rancho Santa Fe and this Around Town is featured in Spirit Lake, Iowa).

On June 23, My husband, Jackson and I drove to the Amtrak station to catch my 6:45 a.m. train to Los Angeles. The night before, I suddenly wondered if it were actually possible to make the train, the shuttle to LAX and board the plane all on in one day. Then I realized, yes, trains are always on time. So you can just see my expression when another passenger informed me that there had been a homicide on the train tracks only a few hours earlier. What a bad omen, I thought (I’m a little superstitious). I asked him, “You’re kidding right?” I envisioned a crew like the “CSI: Miami: forensic team somewhere down the tracks completing their investigation, while hundreds of travelers were stranded at the train stations. What ended up happening was I took Robin home, then jumped on the freeway, and drove to the airport. Later, it was determined that a man was just hit by a train and the homicide theory was ruled out.

If you are wondering, we did make the plane. An odd sense of relief came over me as I held my son’s hand, while we ascended and disappeared into the white clouds.

On June 24, I woke up at my parents’ house feeling quite pleased to be on vacation. I hadn’t been back to the Midwest during the summer in almost five years. Let me set the record straight on Iowa because I know what you are thinking. You are thinking miles of corn and how boring. Yes, normally that would be right, except where my family lives. Spirit Lake and Lake Okoboji is sort of like the “Aspen of Iowa,” but in reverse. Just like Aspen in the wintertime, Spirit Lake has more than 250,000 tourists a year visit its breathtaking natural lakes during the summer. After being a native Californian (Ha!) for 21 years, I still am proud to be from the Midwest. It’s quite pleasant to see natural green grass grow without the need of irrigation or a pack of gardeners attending to manicured lawns. It’s wonderful to breathe in fresh air, and enjoy natural beauty outside of a semi-arid desert. Think “Norman Rockwell” here. Spirit Lake has this pristine quality that leads you to believe maybe you don’t have a care in the world. I snapped a cute photo of my brother Billy and Jessica with their youngest son, Henry, on my first day. I love my brother!

On June 25, I attended my sister’s bachelorette party with my niece Lauren Chapman and my soon-to-be-step-niece Mia Howard. We all went to Barefoot Bar to meet my sister with her other close friends to help celebrate her betrothal to J.D. Howard. Before we left, I captured a photo of the bachelor party guys, Steven and J.D. Howard, with my uncle Timothy and my brother Billy Penn. We had so much fun that evening. However, while my sister unwrapped her lingerie and naught presents, something wicked was brewing up just on the other side of the lake. Can you say tornado? After leaving the Midwest at the age of 18, I still have a tremendous fear of those deadly twisters. This truly had my heart racing. We had to relocate to a Mexican restaurant because the dark front was moving fast across the lake with bolts of lightening flashing across the sky. Once I was with tequila in hand, I felt somewhat more relaxed. That was, until the lights went out there, too. OK, I have to admit, I did scream out loud in the brief moment of terror. After huddling inside the restroom, the party resumed. Let’s just say when the hail and the wind and lightening subsided, we rushed home as fast as we could. Well, I had them take me home, and their party continued on, without me.

On June 26, I woke up and realized today my sister is getting married … and I must wear a salmon-colored dress. Yes, that’s right, salmon, but sort of rosy salmon. I must say the color was better than I thought. And, quite honestly, I would wear a gunny-sack for Tracy. She rocks. First thing my sister and I did was make the floral arrangements. I helped her in the restroom downstairs strip all of the thorns from the roses. Two

sisters together, what fun! We tied them together with beautiful ribbon, and made the most beautiful bouquets. A few hours later, I drove to the most beautiful B&B. There we relaxed together in her big suite as we waited for time to trickle away. At 5:35 p.m., my sister Tracy married J.D. Howard on the Lake of Okoboj. And, luckily for all of us, there were clear skies. I have included a few photos from that day here.

Later that evening, the reception took place at my parents’ home. For awhile, the weather felt wonderful. Tracy and J.D. danced. The in-laws did, too. Everything was going smoothly until, yes, you guessed it, another tornado was spotted only five miles away. Everyone took cover in the basement. Luckily, it’s a tri-level house where the basement is really quite luxurious. So imagine everyone in comfort. Think carpet, not concrete floors. I ended up rushing upstairs with my camera to document these wild new developments on the front porch. How could I resist? The video captured the ominous dark clouds passing over the lake. No worries, the storm moved over Spirit Lake. And, the reception turned into a night to remember for all of us. I have included a gorgeous photo of Micky Kay and William Ray Penn (my parents). They graciously hosted the reception and were just beaming with pride for their eldest daughter that day. There is also a photo here of myself with my two siblings with their significant others just after the storm had passed.

On June 28, I baked my first cake! I have made cookies, and other sweet breads and brownies and pies, too. But never in my life have I baked a cake. It’s funny how you can learn new things on vacation. I discovered I love to bake. I ended up baking seven cakes, plus my sister’s birthday cake later that week, too. Let’s just say it was a week of celebrating of my sister, which she truly deserved. Later, I will write a feature on some wonderful substitutes I discovered, to help reduce the fat and calories.

On July 3, I returned home. I boarded my plane, said goodbye to my family. My mother stood at the security checkout and waved goodbye, while Jackson and I disappeared as we headed to our gate, back into our regular lives in California. Did I mention yet that I love my family? Thanks for reading my “Around Town” that just happened to be out of town for just one issue.

Continue reading My frank thoughts for this week’s column, “Machel’s Ranch.” Rancho Santa Fe News.

Sex and the City, and knowing “When to Say When”

  • Posted on July 11, 2010 at 3:44 pm

Over Memorial Day weekend, I stood in line to buy my ticket to “Sex and the City 2.” OK, I confess. I broke my diet and ate some popcorn. I was like a giddy high school girl. You should have seen me sitting there, while the lights dimmed.

Then movie tape began to roll. Alicia Keys’ popular song, “Empire State of Mind II,” played as the credits flashed in sync with Manhattan skyscrapers. Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda — four femme fatales who have reeled in the viewers for more than a decade, I couldn’t wait.

I was certain this movie would be the best thing since, well, the HBO show. As you probably know, you can catch the edited versions on TBS. And, yes, I’ve seen all of the episodes in the rerun-formatted version. I’ve watched those women rummage through men, shoes, relationships, apartments, and good eateries only to want more from the fabulous four characters.

However, too much of a good thing can turn anything sour. That’s a mix of metaphors. I didn’t feel like sounding too cliché. And honestly I’m sort of in one of those moods. You know, one of those moments where you’ve realized sometimes there is a reason for two little words: the end.

What happened next over the next 25 minutes was shocking. My excitement soon turned to utter disgust when Liza Minnelli showed up singing show tunes at at a gay wedding. Um, not exactly what I was expecting when I bought my ticket. This movie was so tongue-in-cheek in the first opening scenes I felt completely insulted as a loyal fan.

I wasn’t there to watch Liza make a comeback. No. I wanted to witness the connection of these four characters that have kept me company many times on a TBS Monday night. Then it dawned on me as I sat there alone in the dark un-crowded theater, sometimes there are reasons for endings.

There was no need to see what happened after the courthouse wedding with Carrie and Mr. Big. I don’t need to see my favorite four bond in a poorly written script depicting boring marriages. Then taking that predictable girls trip to Dubai, flirting with disaster by kissing an ex-boyfriend, then riding around in the desert in multicolored outfits on camels.

No.

That’s when it happened. The unthinkable — I walked out on “Sex and the City 2.” I quickly left after witnessing another X-rated scene with Samantha with some other random guy. My stomach churned as I watched Carrie feel that huge gap because she could not recognize Clark Gable in “It Happened One Night,” but Mr. Big could. And, the sight of seeing Charlotte feeling overwhelmed with her second adopted child from China with her bald boring husband was just enough to put me over the edge.

What I wanted was gone. The show had evolved into a parody of four women no longer in their 30s, now being labeled as boring because they had found relationships with men.

I don’t know what I was expecting. I guess maybe they could all still manage life, relationships and be friends? I’m learning though from my own experiences that this may be too much to ask from reality and even from “Sex and the City.”

Sometimes, it’s OK to say when. It’s OK to move on to a different chapter, a city, say goodbye to old friends, and sometimes there is no need for a sequel. The trick in life for us is to know when to say when. Take my advice, read the book “Julie/Julia” instead. Now that is entertainment. Besides, I would rather keep Carrie in New York happily ever after with Mr. Big. I don’t need to know the rest.

Around Town

On May 28, Jill and Tony Sorge’s oldest son Anthony graduated from Santa Fe Christian High School. When Jill called to remind me of that special day, I could hardly believe the little boy I had met more than 12 years ago was now graduating from high school. This may seem like an off-the-wall thing to share, but Jill Sorge came to my side when I was checked in early with toxemia when I was pregnant with my son. I had just moved to San Diego and met Jill only a few months before. My ex-husband had just had knee surgery and this was an unexpected development at the end of my pregnancy. With my family out of town and because of the surgery, I was going to be alone during most of the induced labor. I was absolutely terrified. Luckily for me, I had met Jill. She came down in the middle of the night, harassed the nurses to make sure I was all right and never left my side. Thanks to Jill, I was not alone. Some things you never forget. Now here her oldest son has graduated from high school. Unbelievable.

Congratulations to Anthony and his beautiful family. Thanks for making our life so much more special in San Diego. Jill was kind enough to share photos from graduation day at Santa Fe Christian.

Later that night, I went out with my friends for the beginning of Memorial Day weekend. We started off at Mille Fleurs with some of our good friends. Host Julien Hug sat down with Robin and me and shared that he had just been up in Los Angeles only the week before doing charity work with part of other past members of ABC’s “The Bachelorette.” How exciting. We’ve been friends with Julien over the years and he is definitely one of Rancho Santa Fe’s very own celebrities. One time, Julien even convinced Robin to go skydiving on his own (not tandem). Robin took the five-hour course, and I watched with baited breath as I hoped he could land on his own. He pulled the toggles too soon, which made his parachute collapse about five feet from the ground. Luckily, he only skinned a knee. Those were the days. I included a fun picture of the three of us from that evening. Gal pal Krista Lafferty and her friend Tracy Justice also joined us for that wonderful evening.

On May 30, my favorite couple in town, Karian and Tom Forsyth, invited me to their fabulous Memorial Day weekend barbecue. My best friend Meredith MacDonald accompanied me to The Crosby that day to enjoy beautiful weather, exotic clothes and hot weather. What I love about Karian and Tom is they are one of the best-dressed couples in town. I never know what ensemble to expect, but each outfit is absolute perfection for that particular event. I tried hard to look stylish with my “Audrey wannabe” sunglasses but I’m more of a quirky down to earth type that wears the same shoes until the heels start falling apart. Meredith looked exceptional in her “Dancing with the Stars” ensemble. Gary and Maggie Bobeliff, and Martine Woesle were there also, just to name a few. Featured are some of the stand-out photos from that day.

Summer hat feature

Maggie Bobileff, owner of Mister B’s, happened to be wearing the most sublime white hat. All fashion icons know that Memorial Day weekend is the first weekend one can wear white for the summer. Thanks Maggie for looking absolutely gorgeous and letting me feature you for this week’s summer hat feature. And, doesn’t Chef Martin look wonderful, too? If you are lucky, you might catch Martin in his tennis shorts midday around town in the Ranch. But don’t say I mentioned that, wink, wink. Her husband Gary was also looking dapper in a pose with host Tom Forsyth. Thanks Karian for including me. Your parties make me feel oh-so-Hollywood!

On June 2, Roger Rowe in Rancho Santa Fe opened their doors to families and friends to attend Open House Night. The Community Center hosted the recital events in their stage area where parents of students from different grades took turns watching the performances. Jackson’s fourth-grade class played their recorders that evening. I snapped a photo of Cielo resident Marlene Fetzer with her gorgeous daughter. Later, all of the parents headed to classrooms to see progress of projects, and other assignments that had taken place from that school year. The best news of all? The construction is almost completed at the school. Next year will be exciting for everyone. I had the best time that evening at Roger Rowe. What an exception school for our community.

On June 5, I woke up early to help Katie and Robin (Lemon Twist) dip 1,000 chocolate strawberries for the “Best In Show” event at Helen Woodward. If you’ve never done this, you should try it. There is something very peaceful about the method of dipping strawberries into chocolate. Maybe, I just have a thing for the chocolate though. Later that evening, Lemon Twist won Best Decor from a local food critic, and Tommy V’s took home the honors for best food. I had the time of my life that evening, while working the booth for this fundraiser event. It’s always one of my favorite events of the year. Thanks Katie for always including me. You can find more photos of this evening in the paper. I have included just one here. I ran into the prettiest sisters in town, Katie and Rosie Holcombe. Can you say blonde power? I just love these two beauties. Thanks for posing for this the darling picture.

On June 8, I had the pleasure of interviewing author James Simmons. Mr. Simmons informed me over the phone of his extensive background, which includes a doctorate from UC Berkeley, teaching also at Boston University, UCSD and San Diego State. Mr. Simmons is a social historian who has published 26 nonfiction books. “I am also the only writer in the country doing these privately commissioned life and family histories, who is also a historian.”

Some of his clients include Ranch resident Bob Baker. His book came out in 2004. Mr. Baker also wants another edition. If you would love to chronicle your life story for your own family legacy, check out www.yourbiography.com. Jame Simmons is qualified to tell your story. Thanks James for the candid interview.

Continue reading Sex and the City, and knowing “When to Say When”